Stupid Conversations

Any job dealing with the general public puts you in the firing line of negative communication – unfortunately, 90% of it is beyond daft and probably 10% has any validity which you can work with.

Here are some recent gems:

1. Prospective Tenant

Me:  Why do you want to live in a room?

Tenant: I’m working for Easyjet and buying them 80 planes this month and the Government owes me £1m when I invoice them.  I’m also going to buy 1000 flats and should have bought the first 200 by the end of this month.  I only eat fruit.  I don’t need money and am going to buy heating for all elderly people.

Me:      So, you work from home then?

Tenant:            I’m staying in an Airbnb and they lied and said I could stay there forever but they’ve just told me they have people for Christmas and I must leave.

Me:      You’re kidding, I wonder why?

2. Text conversation with a tenant after a £10,000 kitchen had been fitted:










3. Another text conversation with a tenant about the internet:



4. Letter from the Council after applying for housing for a vulnerable tenant:

Dear Serena

Following your application for housing, the decision has been made that you are not eligible for the housing register.  Unfortunately, your current circumstances do not meet the criteria to join our Housing Allocations List. (etc. etc)

Yours sincerely

Customer First, Eastbourne Borough Council

My Response:

Dear  Customer First

The application was made on behalf of a Mr John XXX who is a tenant at XXXX and I have been his landlady for 10 years.  He is 58 years old, illiterate and vulnerable.  I’m paying for a cleaner to check on him on a weekly basis, to teach him how to change his bedlinen and he would love to retire from his job collecting supermarket trolleys but he has no other income, savings or pension scheme.  He has no family support to turn to and my concern is to find him a long term tenancy in, perhaps, warden assisted accommodation.

We visited the Council’s housing team on Wednesday to investigate his options.  As the housing list is accessed online and he doesn’t have an email account, my email was used.  I’m concerned how, using my email, came to be linked with me being the primary accommodation applicant and how my middle names were also used to address this letter which were never revealed at the interview.  My email was only given to facilitate John’s effort to find accommodation.

Yours sincerely

No response was received and, despite social services and John’s doctor promising to take his case in hand, no further action has been taken.

5. Last but not least

Tenant:   There’s been a power cut.  Come now

Me:   Are the street lights out and the other houses in darkness?

Tenant:  No, just the bathroom

Me:  Have you tried the bulb?

Tenant: Oh yeah, touched the bulb and it works now.

6. And David’s

David has just read this post and reminded me of the following 2 stories this week:

After repairing a leak caused by an unsealed bath which had brought the kitchen ceiling down, the tenant reported water was still coming through the ceiling.  He popped over to find the shower curtain missing.  “Is it in the wash?” he asked.  “No” they replied “The plumber didn’t put it back up after he finished”.

A student called David in a panic: “The washing machine’s broken!!”  “Can you give me any more information?” he asked.  “No, it’s not washing ANYTHING and my clothes are still dirty”.  He went, he inspected and he found a washing powder tablet still in it’s wrapper in the drawer.  He presented it to the student who said “Oh, are you supposed to unwrap them then?”



Filed under being a landlord, Management of an HMO

7 responses to “Stupid Conversations

  1. Owen

    I had a similar power cut one…

    “the sockets are off”
    “are the light off too – and what about the street lights ?”
    “yeah the street lights are off”
    “do you know when it will be back on ?”

    I’ll get my crystal ball…..

  2. Owen

    Oh I’ve had the tablet thing – sucked into the inlet pipe and then overflowing….

    Play listen with mother and read the instructions on the packet to them “place the tablet in the drum NOT in the drawer”….

  3. Ah great to have you back blogging. I figured you’d packed it in. I thought my LHA HMO was bad, but then I only have the 1. Whilst nicely profitable, it’s shockingly hands on, as you ably demonstrate. In fact I’ve visited my lone LHA HMO over 300 times in the last 3 years, basically twice a week!

    • Hi Colin. No, not packed it in as I think there are still too many stories to tell! I’m working on a project to update the website and provide more information next year about the realities of HMO management along with interviews of those even more entrenched in the business! Thank you for reading and please keep doing so, especially as you’re so hands on. In fact, feel free to share a story!

  4. Pingback: Ben Reeve Lewis Friday Newsround #278 - The Landlord Law Blog

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