Aaargh! Another slippery tenant.
I’ve just received a phone call which explains why Greg has been avoiding me and hasn’t been answering my messages – yesterday he was sentenced to 10 weeks in prison for breach of his bail conditions.
Greg is lovely – I mean eye candy lovely. I hate to breach the professional landlady/tenant divide and most of my tenants are very, very easy to resist but this one I could look at for hours: very tall, huge muscles, lean body, blue eyes and a smile to break the hardest of hearts.
He was one of Lewis’ friends who turned up earlier this year having been ejected from a relationship and was a good, honest painter decorator – what could go wrong? Actually, he’d been ejected from several relationships, the children he’s fathered all seem to be pretty much the same age and, since becoming unemployed, he’s spent hours at the gym honing his already well toned body.
A couple of weeks ago I went to confront him about his rent arrears and his future in the house – I really should have worn a blindfold. Tom and I were chatting in the kitchen, in walks Greg and I asked him to take a seat whilst we discussed his future in the house, I’m not a charity, I’ve reduced his rent to help him out, etc. etc. Much to Tom’s disgust the conversation went:
“Now Greg, you’re not being honest with me and send me texts with lots of excuses as why you’re not paying your rent. It can’t go on like this and we need to agree a proper payment plan to clear the arrears and cover the existing rent. I realise you have lots of girlfriends and children to support, but your rent really does need to be put at the top of your priority list……blah, blah, blurgh, blurgh, and don’t try flashing that smile at me, it’s just not going to work this time”.
“Yeah, I’m really sorry but my bitch of an ex girlfriend is making my life hell. I love living here and you’re a great landlady. I promise I’ll do better and will make sure the rent is there regularly.” (Flashes me a winning smile)
At this point, I would have looked sceptical, told him the consequences of a Section 21, shook his hand and left. Instead:
“Oh, alright Greg. I believe you, (giggle, giggle) try to sort this out (snigger, snigger, blush, blush).”
Greg left, Tom looked at me with distaste and sniffed “For God’s sake, call that a bollocking? You scared the life out of me when I got pissed last month for swearing at everyone. I’ve seen you do better than that, you sappy old cow! By the way, those muscles are down to the steriods ”. I think he’s just jealous.
So, if I want to serve a Section 21 notice, I must do so on the Prison Governor. Instead, I’ll now get onto the Council to ask for the rent to be paid direct to me, watch his top up build even further in arrears and hope that prison gives him a chance to think about what he’s going to do in the future and take the sheen off those rugged good looks so I can actually follow through any Notice to Quit procedures.