Peace and Goodwill to All Men?! Christmas HMO Style!

Happy New Year to you all!  Isn’t it great to start a new year with a fresh perspective? Antisocial behaviour was fairly low from the HMOs for the first time in 5 years although busy with tenant changeovers.

Tom’s Christmas

Tom’s calls on Christmas Day to his family members went unanswered (what DID he do to upset them so much?) so he took to the pub.  I’d suggested Church may have been a good place for him to go soul searching and connect with his inner spiritual self, but he said he’d had enough of “peeling bleedin’ potatoes for the homeless on Christmas Day.  They eat better than me!”.  I meant to go to a Church, any Church and mix with normal people for a coffee and mince pie or, failing that, cadge a free dinner from the Sally Army.

He invited a friend back to the room who, in turn, bought another friend.  Whilst I doubt they sat around and drinking a cup of tea whilst exchanging Christmas presents he did say they just had a “couple of cans”.  Tom then went to the loo and came back to find that the friend of the friend had stolen all the cash out of his wallet and done a runner.  The actual friend hadn’t run quite so quickly so Tom managed to wrestle him to the ground and interrogate him in the only way that a 17 stone long lost relative of Phil Mitchell (Eastenders) could.  It was all the money he had in the world until his JSA was due in the new year.

According to the story, whilst Tom was delivering justice with one hand he called the police with the other explaining to them that if they didn’t get there soon, they’d be investigating a homicide.  Luckily, Silviu (the trafficked Romanian Border Guard) used his well honed skills to separate them and avoid Tom spending the rest of Christmas in a custody suite.  If only his mum had called back…….

New Tenants

I had a couple of short notice changeovers: Lewis suddenly fell in love and pretty much moved out in the same week.  It’s odd as I swear not two months ago, he was regailing us with stories of his sexual prowess with a couple of girls he’d met over a bag of chips on his way home after a night out.  His replacement (a friend of his) more than makes up for him, has recently split from a girlfriend and seems raring to embark on his single life.  I just hope the bed in the room is up to it!!

Jason moved upstairs to Steve’s old room which has been painted and had a £250 new carpet spent on it.  I spent a fruitful Christmas Eve in the carpet shop discussing which carpet would hide a coffee stain the best – enlightening yet thoroughly dull for the kids.  I wish I’d take a photo of it before Jason moved his c**p in this weekend.

Jason has recommended a friend to take his room (which needs a huge refurb).  I’m not sure about him, but Jason assures me he’s a “good lad” and will sort out any problems.  I reminded him that he’d sworn to me Steve never smoked drugs but I’m not going to hold it against him.  I’ll keep an eye out and, when I asked for next of kin details, explained that he’d been fostered out I felt all Christmassy/Goodwill to all men, etc. and decided to give him a chance.  Got a feeling that it might just bite me on the bum in the next few months……………!


Filed under Tenant Stories

5 responses to “Peace and Goodwill to All Men?! Christmas HMO Style!

  1. Ben reeve-Lewis

    Your bum must have more teeth-marks than a gum shield maker’s portfolio.

    Why is it your writing comes accross as a 21st century Dickens?

    • Because I’m his reincarnation!!! I think I should rename the blog “How NOT to run an HMO”! However, having spent the last 2 hours building a home for 2 guinea pigs who are thoroughly ungrateful for my efforts, I’ve decided that running HMOs is a little bit easier. 2 boilers failed today and I’ve still got the tip run to do with old furniture from Steve’s room – this landlord lark is very glamorous!

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