Once you are the proud owner of your fully tenanted HMO, these are things you can guarantee will happen:
2. Crockery, cutlery and glasses will disappear as quickly as you replace them – this can be blamed on the fictitious elves that are equipping their new home
3. Someone will use/smoke drugs and thinks you are being an old humbug when you object or, in my case, throw a complete wobbly
4. Someone will string you along about not being able to pay rent when, in reality, they’ve just blown it on a holiday/ new phone/ hot date
5. No one will think the damp patch on the ceiling, which grows bigger every day, is worth mentioning
7. It’s no-one’s fault that the kitchen bin hasn’t been emptied for a week
8. Make good friends with a mattress supplier – you will need to replace them after most lets. DO NOT TRY TO GUESS WHAT THE STAINS ARE!
9. You will be called late on a Saturday night from a tenant trying to speed dial a taxi/ takeaway/ girlfriend depending where you are listed in his phone book. (I was once called at midnight by a tenant who described all the naughty things he was going to do to me once he got home from the pub. He was mortified the next day as he thought he’d called his girlfriend as we share the same initial. Until that point, I was rather flattered).
10. You will spend your spare hours redirecting post and bailiffs for ex tenants